For my first video game review, I thought about being a little more positive. I'm trying to review things I have recently played, and seeing as how my "reviews" are geared more towards convincing you NOT to buy a product, it is hard to be positive. Firstly, I played this game on my Xbox 360. I'm one of those people who bitch about how expensive video games are, and as such I borrow them from friends (mostly) instead of purchasing them. I'm also unemployed, so that is my real reason.
I went into this game with a great sense of optimism. After widening the assholes of well over 40,000 people on Call of Duty 4, and accomplishing feats that noobs could only dream about, but are too nooby to even come up with a rational thought that could double as the motherfucking awesome shit I have done on that game, and still do on that game, I wanted a break from my usual rapefest. Why would I want this, you might ask? My dick was sore, obviously.
Now, the game takes place in a Jungle. I'm assuming it was in Africa, but I really didn't pay all that much attention. You get to choose from a shitload of different people at the beginning, but the only thing it changes is what your arms look like. I thought it would be an interesting concept, but why the fuck should I care about what my arms look like in an FPS? I was just grateful there wasn't an underage stripper tattoo or something I had to look at the entire time.
The game has a storyline, which I tried following. I recall being 56% done with the game when I returned it. The storyline doesn't matter. What does matter is that all I did this entire game was bullshit missions, and I bought weapons. You do missions to get diamonds, or you find suitcases with diamonds. The problem is, you do a mission and get 50 diamonds, or you can hunt for several hours and get 15 diamonds. So the whole suitcase diamond thing was a complete waste of time.
Also, driving in this game is all done in 1st person. The cars you buy are endorsed by nothing other than rust, and the only car in the game that matters would have to be the Jeep, which is endorsed by Jeep. I don't understand why, though...
My main gripe with this game was that you had to drive fucking everywhere, and every single car was a piece of shit. I would drive for forty-five seconds, and then get shot at by some asshole and it would just die. A bullet to the fender would make my engine ignite in flames, and to repair it you had to get out of the car, walk around, and tighten one bolt with a wrench. Like, somehow, the one bolt controlled the fire that was surrounding the engine. It was such bullshit, and the only form of transportation were four bus-stops that took you to the farthest corners of the map, so no matter what you had to drive somewhere, to do some mundane, repetitive task.
Fighting in the game was less than desirable. I have a soft spot for the M1911 handgun, and whenever I unlocked and purchased the weapon I was ecstatic. However, shooting someone with it six times in the chest was never, ever fun. Even after fully upgrading the pistol, it took six or seven shots to down someone. I feel that if I were to be shot, I would probably not be able to return fire or kick someones ass regardless. This was how it was for everything, and the aiming was total bullshit. There was never any cover, and I don't recall ever having an advantage in a fight. The element of surprise was never there. I had a camouflage upgrade that made me invisible in tall grass, but the problem was that I didn't feel any different at all, so I wasted 45 diamonds on an upgrade that did absolutely nothing.
I don't recall having ever played a more mundane, boring ass game in all my life. I churned out nearly twenty hours on this piece of shit, and I kept thinking it was going to improve and something exciting would happen. But it never did. It never fucking did. I got to the new areas, I did a shitload of missions and met a whole lot of people I did not give a shit about. Normally I am a compassionate person, but everyone you meet seems just as mindless and ridiculous as all the other AI grunts you fight. I would not have had any problem at all shooting them in the face.
I strongly recommend you to not play this game. The online was broken and the level-editor was complete bullshit. I lagged on an excellent connection, and it was honestly one of the most horrendous online experiences I have ever had. Having played the original Far Cry, I think you would much rather enjoy that. Aside from the pretty graphics, this game has nothing going for it. Nothing at all.
I went into this game with a great sense of optimism. After widening the assholes of well over 40,000 people on Call of Duty 4, and accomplishing feats that noobs could only dream about, but are too nooby to even come up with a rational thought that could double as the motherfucking awesome shit I have done on that game, and still do on that game, I wanted a break from my usual rapefest. Why would I want this, you might ask? My dick was sore, obviously.
Now, the game takes place in a Jungle. I'm assuming it was in Africa, but I really didn't pay all that much attention. You get to choose from a shitload of different people at the beginning, but the only thing it changes is what your arms look like. I thought it would be an interesting concept, but why the fuck should I care about what my arms look like in an FPS? I was just grateful there wasn't an underage stripper tattoo or something I had to look at the entire time.
The game has a storyline, which I tried following. I recall being 56% done with the game when I returned it. The storyline doesn't matter. What does matter is that all I did this entire game was bullshit missions, and I bought weapons. You do missions to get diamonds, or you find suitcases with diamonds. The problem is, you do a mission and get 50 diamonds, or you can hunt for several hours and get 15 diamonds. So the whole suitcase diamond thing was a complete waste of time.
Also, driving in this game is all done in 1st person. The cars you buy are endorsed by nothing other than rust, and the only car in the game that matters would have to be the Jeep, which is endorsed by Jeep. I don't understand why, though...
My main gripe with this game was that you had to drive fucking everywhere, and every single car was a piece of shit. I would drive for forty-five seconds, and then get shot at by some asshole and it would just die. A bullet to the fender would make my engine ignite in flames, and to repair it you had to get out of the car, walk around, and tighten one bolt with a wrench. Like, somehow, the one bolt controlled the fire that was surrounding the engine. It was such bullshit, and the only form of transportation were four bus-stops that took you to the farthest corners of the map, so no matter what you had to drive somewhere, to do some mundane, repetitive task.
Fighting in the game was less than desirable. I have a soft spot for the M1911 handgun, and whenever I unlocked and purchased the weapon I was ecstatic. However, shooting someone with it six times in the chest was never, ever fun. Even after fully upgrading the pistol, it took six or seven shots to down someone. I feel that if I were to be shot, I would probably not be able to return fire or kick someones ass regardless. This was how it was for everything, and the aiming was total bullshit. There was never any cover, and I don't recall ever having an advantage in a fight. The element of surprise was never there. I had a camouflage upgrade that made me invisible in tall grass, but the problem was that I didn't feel any different at all, so I wasted 45 diamonds on an upgrade that did absolutely nothing.
I don't recall having ever played a more mundane, boring ass game in all my life. I churned out nearly twenty hours on this piece of shit, and I kept thinking it was going to improve and something exciting would happen. But it never did. It never fucking did. I got to the new areas, I did a shitload of missions and met a whole lot of people I did not give a shit about. Normally I am a compassionate person, but everyone you meet seems just as mindless and ridiculous as all the other AI grunts you fight. I would not have had any problem at all shooting them in the face.
I strongly recommend you to not play this game. The online was broken and the level-editor was complete bullshit. I lagged on an excellent connection, and it was honestly one of the most horrendous online experiences I have ever had. Having played the original Far Cry, I think you would much rather enjoy that. Aside from the pretty graphics, this game has nothing going for it. Nothing at all.
QFT Mate QFT
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