How I loathe you...
I felt like this year, since I'm in a relationship, that this day wouldn't be so bad. It's difficult to judge because spending time with your significant other is usually enjoyable, but this day itself is complete and utter shit. I informed my girlfriend that I would not be getting her a thing for Valentines day, because I do not believe in it. As per usual, things never really go as planned for me...
I got her a card entirely in Spanish. I had no idea what it said, but I thought it was hilarious. I recently dropped Spanish 2, and could only read bits and pieces of it. I believe the title was," To my love, My Wife." and it had a picture of an intimate Hispanic couple lying on white silk sheets, during a resting period from their passionate and unprotected lovemaking session. Valentines Day is sort of like the National Conception Day, whether it be on purpose or accidental. " C'mon, baby...It's Valentines Day...do I really need this?"
Bam. Children. Hispanic children.
My mother is a firm believer in the holiday, and as such made me feel guilty as hell for only getting my girlfriend a card written entirely in Spanish, that confessed my love for her as my wife, and not as my girlfriend. So, the guilt trips she placed on me had me getting her candy and a CD I thought she would be interested in. I thought," Well, this is surely enough...she expects nothing."
I was wrong. Apparently, according to my mother, a girl cannot take a man seriously unless they deliver their gifts in a flamboyant mushy-gushy gift bag. Going to purchase this bag was hell. Not only do I enjoy sticking it to the man, but I suddenly became a hypocrite as I walked down the aisles, ashamed to be in the situation that I was in. My changeover from being a rebellious youth to a hypocritical tool was short-lived, but my insides were burning and I recall tearing up a little, despite the irritation caused by my left contact lens. The things my mother recommended to accentuate the contents of the gift-bag were gut-wrenching, and having to confess my love in this manner went against everything I stood, and still stand for.
The five minutes of grueling agony was worth it, as I was not beaten, despite what my mother said might happen. Valentines Day is just a great excuse for candy and greeting card companies to strike a buck and make a fortune. I just hope it somehow helped the economy...
...Like I give a shit.
I got her a card entirely in Spanish. I had no idea what it said, but I thought it was hilarious. I recently dropped Spanish 2, and could only read bits and pieces of it. I believe the title was," To my love, My Wife." and it had a picture of an intimate Hispanic couple lying on white silk sheets, during a resting period from their passionate and unprotected lovemaking session. Valentines Day is sort of like the National Conception Day, whether it be on purpose or accidental. " C'mon, baby...It's Valentines Day...do I really need this?"
Bam. Children. Hispanic children.
My mother is a firm believer in the holiday, and as such made me feel guilty as hell for only getting my girlfriend a card written entirely in Spanish, that confessed my love for her as my wife, and not as my girlfriend. So, the guilt trips she placed on me had me getting her candy and a CD I thought she would be interested in. I thought," Well, this is surely enough...she expects nothing."
I was wrong. Apparently, according to my mother, a girl cannot take a man seriously unless they deliver their gifts in a flamboyant mushy-gushy gift bag. Going to purchase this bag was hell. Not only do I enjoy sticking it to the man, but I suddenly became a hypocrite as I walked down the aisles, ashamed to be in the situation that I was in. My changeover from being a rebellious youth to a hypocritical tool was short-lived, but my insides were burning and I recall tearing up a little, despite the irritation caused by my left contact lens. The things my mother recommended to accentuate the contents of the gift-bag were gut-wrenching, and having to confess my love in this manner went against everything I stood, and still stand for.
The five minutes of grueling agony was worth it, as I was not beaten, despite what my mother said might happen. Valentines Day is just a great excuse for candy and greeting card companies to strike a buck and make a fortune. I just hope it somehow helped the economy...
...Like I give a shit.
So you were guilted into celebrating this shallow holiday by your mother? You flippant bastard.
ReplyDeleteAlso, those candy taglines are extremely tacky.
hahaha - sounds fun ;)
ReplyDelete