I steal Evangelical Christian USB Drives.
As I said earlier, I am active in my school's drama department. Which means I'm an actor, and not a goddamn rumor-spreading cunt. I spend a whole lot of time in the auditorium texting and sleeping in between the aisles. I'm a very talented actor, but with a class like that you're expected to have a lot of down time, and I literally have a lot of time where I am down on the ground. Asleep.
Amidst one of my naps I found a PNY 1Gb USB drive. And since I'm using this blog to primarily review things and tell about experiences in my life, I felt like this piece of shit needed to be talked about. I'm generally a nice person, and if I felt that the person who previously owned the USB drive needed it to be returned, I would have returned it to them. So, I check their files to see who it is.
The owner of the USB drive was a boy named Christian, and he was a fucking tool. On the drive I found various essay he had wrote where he cited God as his source, and often times quoted the bible to back up his claims. He also had a bible reading guide, which was ridiculous. Currently I am researching and studying homosexuality for a discussion I have to partake in for my English class, so I decided to read his essay seeing as how it was from the point of view of an Evangelical Christian boy.
It was trash. Complete trash. Obviously "Christian" has been corrupted by his faith, or was a douchebag Catholic. I was in dire need of a USB drive, so I just left his bullshit on there and began using it for my own. In the event that I would come face to face with Christian, I told myself that I would no doubt return his USB drive to him, but under no other circumstances would I return it.
I began using the USB drive on my laptop (which I will talk extensively about at a later date) and grew bored. Citing articles for research isn't my favorite thing to do, albeit I am quote proficient at it. So, I fell asleep. During this slumber I stretched out past the USB drive, and it ended up under my thigh. The shit plastic cracked under my weight ( I barely weight 115 pounds. I'm skinny.) and now the USB is crooked. I have to push it upwards for my PC to recognize it, and it's the same case for the bullshit HP computers at my school, which are undoubtfully the worst HP products I have ever used.
The name of the USB is "SWEET MEAT" which makes me think of a phallus dipped in honey, and as such gives me prolonged graphic mental images each and every time I plug it in. I put several hours of research and time into several specific files, and saved them on this SWEET MEAT USB drive.
I took these files into school to get my shit printed off, and it messed up. So, I had to take my information to dear Mrs. Compton, who I am good friends with and respect, unlike many other students. I was beyond embarassed to tell her the name of the USB drive, and explained to her that I was looking to return it to it's rightful owner. To make the story short, she probably thinks I'm a weirdo Christian boy, and that my nickname is SWEET MEAT because of all the head I get. Which is entirely untrue. If I was even remotely sexually active, I would not be writing this right now. Trust me.
I was unable to partake in the discussion today because of this piece of shit USB drive, and because of the technical difficulties that come along with Microsoft Office and their inability to install a converted with the program. So now I have to go a speech by myself in front of the class.
So, Christian, why don't you go fuck yourself and buy a man's USB.
As I said earlier, I am active in my school's drama department. Which means I'm an actor, and not a goddamn rumor-spreading cunt. I spend a whole lot of time in the auditorium texting and sleeping in between the aisles. I'm a very talented actor, but with a class like that you're expected to have a lot of down time, and I literally have a lot of time where I am down on the ground. Asleep.
Amidst one of my naps I found a PNY 1Gb USB drive. And since I'm using this blog to primarily review things and tell about experiences in my life, I felt like this piece of shit needed to be talked about. I'm generally a nice person, and if I felt that the person who previously owned the USB drive needed it to be returned, I would have returned it to them. So, I check their files to see who it is.
The owner of the USB drive was a boy named Christian, and he was a fucking tool. On the drive I found various essay he had wrote where he cited God as his source, and often times quoted the bible to back up his claims. He also had a bible reading guide, which was ridiculous. Currently I am researching and studying homosexuality for a discussion I have to partake in for my English class, so I decided to read his essay seeing as how it was from the point of view of an Evangelical Christian boy.
It was trash. Complete trash. Obviously "Christian" has been corrupted by his faith, or was a douchebag Catholic. I was in dire need of a USB drive, so I just left his bullshit on there and began using it for my own. In the event that I would come face to face with Christian, I told myself that I would no doubt return his USB drive to him, but under no other circumstances would I return it.
I began using the USB drive on my laptop (which I will talk extensively about at a later date) and grew bored. Citing articles for research isn't my favorite thing to do, albeit I am quote proficient at it. So, I fell asleep. During this slumber I stretched out past the USB drive, and it ended up under my thigh. The shit plastic cracked under my weight ( I barely weight 115 pounds. I'm skinny.) and now the USB is crooked. I have to push it upwards for my PC to recognize it, and it's the same case for the bullshit HP computers at my school, which are undoubtfully the worst HP products I have ever used.
The name of the USB is "SWEET MEAT" which makes me think of a phallus dipped in honey, and as such gives me prolonged graphic mental images each and every time I plug it in. I put several hours of research and time into several specific files, and saved them on this SWEET MEAT USB drive.
I took these files into school to get my shit printed off, and it messed up. So, I had to take my information to dear Mrs. Compton, who I am good friends with and respect, unlike many other students. I was beyond embarassed to tell her the name of the USB drive, and explained to her that I was looking to return it to it's rightful owner. To make the story short, she probably thinks I'm a weirdo Christian boy, and that my nickname is SWEET MEAT because of all the head I get. Which is entirely untrue. If I was even remotely sexually active, I would not be writing this right now. Trust me.
I was unable to partake in the discussion today because of this piece of shit USB drive, and because of the technical difficulties that come along with Microsoft Office and their inability to install a converted with the program. So now I have to go a speech by myself in front of the class.
So, Christian, why don't you go fuck yourself and buy a man's USB.
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