The Unborn Sucks.

Tonight my date forced me to see The Unborn. I say forced because I feel I am too superior of a person to watch such an immature and feeble movie. I have more faith in the girl I'm dating than to pick such an awful movie, so of course I know she did it to hear me complain. She says it's cute.

Whatever.

This movie began, and I thought I had missed a part of it. It just started. It took me in by the balls, and forced me to assume things that were incorrect because I am far too intelligent to watch this movie. The lead actor in this movie, Odette Yustman, is such a phenomenal actor that she doesn't have an image on IMDb.

There were many shots early on of her in her panties, and it was like they wanted you to think you had paid six dollars for a video of Camel Toe Weekly, but unfortunately this wasn't the case. Since this is very early on in my blogging career, I'll take this moment to tell you that I'm active in my school's theatre, and I feel that I am a slightly above average actor, and a natural at improvisation. So when I feel that an actor isn't better than myself, I pity them.

I pity Odette Yustman. If she didn't have a rocking body then I wouldn't care for her at all. In fact, neither would America. But hey, I was there with a date. A girl I'm very interested in. If I were alone, I would not have chose to see this movie in the first place. But I was there with someone I was attracted to. I did not need Odette Yustman, and therefore her softcore nudity did nothing for me. Nothing at all.

I generally consider myself to be a stoic person, and as such I rarely am frightened or startled by a movie. I kept making sure not to jump, because I wanted to be a badass and impress my date, but in all honesty I never did need to. The scares were predictable and fake. Very fake. High School theatre class fake. The movie had holocaust undertones that were completely unnecessary and cliche, while giving some insight as to why the main character was Jewish.

I thought a Jewish exorcism would have been badass, but I was disappointed. I'm not sure how uncommon it is to be more interested in looking at your date's face as opposed to a high-budget blockbuster movie, but everyone else seemed to be enjoying it.

Bottom line is that this movie was garbage. It did not make me convey a single emotion (other than pity), and the whole time I was complaining and enjoying the numbness of my ass. When seeing a movie in the theater, the experience is often very beneficial to how much of a movie appeals to me, as was the case with the film Quarantine. But...whenever the experience of being at the theater is the ONLY thing appealing about a film...it just doesn't deserve to be called a film.

Oh, and both black characters die. RACISM.